There and Back Again - Unedited
by ElyssaCousland
Summary: This is the compilation of chapters with descriptive smut for my story There and Back Again - I'm leaving the original without NSFW scenes. Don't read this unless you've read the rest of There and Back Again! Rated M. Entirely NSFW. AlistairxOC
1. Chapter 44: The Night Before

This is where my story splits in two – this one will be M rated, but have no real descriptive sex. The other, titled "There and Back Again – Unedited", will have the same story, but with descriptive sex where appropriate. I don't plan a lot of PWP sex, but I find it can add something to the developing character of the people in the relationship. But I know some people are less interested in the descriptive sex, and I also know of several fics that have been removed from this site for smut. So I'm splitting it up.

This is likely the only time this will happen – I have an entire chapter which is dedicated to descriptive sex. I decided to post that chapter early so as not to leave people waiting; I will post a regular update on Tuesday, as always. This is just a placeholder for a chapter with a much more mature theme than the rest of this fic to date, so that I can keep the chapter numbers the same and not confuse myself. So for those not interested in the sex, sorry for the tease; your next update will be in 2 days. For those interested in the smut, please check out the unedited version. Also, you could look for me on AO3 – I will only be posting the smut version there.

I'll post responses to reviews on Tuesday as well. Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend!

-Elyssa


	2. Chapter 45: Confessions

**Chapter Forty-Five: Confessions**

"You know, according to all the sisters at the monastery, I should have been struck by lightning by now."

"Not for that performance."

"Meaning that it was so great that the Maker himself has decided to spare me from the usual punishment? Right?" He grinned, but the insecurity was as obvious in real life as it had been in game.

I slid up, draping myself across his chest and leaning down to plant a soft kiss on his swollen lips. "Yes, that's exactly what I meant."

"Does this mean I get to brag, tomorrow?"

"Well, I suppose as long as you don't mind my brother beating you senseless afterwards, sure. Go ahead."

"You are a bad, bad woman."

"I'm not the one wanting to brag about my conquest!"

"True. But I think you're actually hoping Aedan will beat me."

"Humility is good for the soul."

"Since when are you worried about a soul?" We both grinned. "I myself am far more worried about other less ethereal concerns."

"Such as?"

"Whether you'd permit us to do this again, if I promise not to discuss our love life with your brother?"

"Again?"

He nodded, somewhat red-faced.

"Now?" I looked down and gasped, my attention immediately drawn to the enormous, slightly purple erection pointed at me. "But…I thought men were supposed to need some recovery time?"

"Evidently not."

I muttered something about Grey Warden stamina, and he had the grace to look slightly abashed. I giggled and leaned down to kiss him again. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me to him tightly, and I let him shift me to lay directly on top of him. The bulge against my thigh gave me an idea, and I broke the kiss to sit up slightly, straddling his waist. When I leaned forward, my breast dangled just above him, and he pulled me closer to draw the small pebble that was my nipple into his mouth. I gasped, then pulled it back out with a small pop, presenting him with the opposite one for the same treatment. His gaze never left mine, and the vision of Alistair, suckling on my breast while gazing into my eyes was one I knew I'd not soon forget.

Suddenly impatient, I pulled away to lean back. Using my hands on his shoulders for leverage, I shifted until I felt his erection trapped between my sex and his belly, and then sat forward slowly until he slid into place at my opening. Pressing back again caused us both to groan, loudly; I was slightly sore, but the stretch was delicious and I kept up the steady pressure until I felt my ass meet his thighs. I gyrated my hips, enjoying the control I had in that position, and discovered that when I leaned forward, my clit got stimulated by his pubic bone, but when I leaned back, he pressed against a spot that felt really good. _Apparently G-spots do exist. Huh._

He reached up to cup my breasts while I alternated between leaning back and forward slightly, and I arched my back, pressing harder into his warm, calloused hands. Shifting my grip from his shoulders to his thighs, behind me, I leaned back and started lifting up and slowly sliding back down. I'd never really felt g-spot stimulation in my very limited experience, and while I missed the pressure on my clit, the sensation was interesting and new enough for me to throw my head back and just enjoy the ride. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to orgasm like that, until suddenly both conflicting needs were filled. My eyes shot open, and I realised that Alistair had released my breasts, and one hand was now bracing itself on my hip, while the other reached between us and teased my clit. His face wore a mask of concentration, I assumed as he tried to keep his own release at bay while he brought me to mine.

It took little time for me to reach my peak, between watching the incredibly sexy man under me try to please me, and the sensations coursing through me from my g-spot and my clit. I felt myself spasm, clenching him deep inside, and he hissed as he tried to maintain his composure. I reached down to still his hands, and instead he reached up to cup my face.

"Maker's breath, watching you like that…I want to see your face, just like that, every day, forever."

I smiled softly, wondering if he realised he'd just offered me a lifetime commitment. I wasn't planning on holding him to it, but it felt nice none-the-less. I leaned into his hand, planting a kiss on his palm, and then leaned forward to kiss his lips. I felt him twitch inside me when I nibbled his lower lip, and suddenly I was upright again as he sat up on the bed. Still buried inside my channel, he wrapped his arms around me and pressed his face into my neck, and I responded in kind. He smelled of sweat, which was somehow sexy instead of gross, and I imagined I smelled, if anything, worse, so I couldn't really complain.

Still sitting so my breasts were pressed against his well-muscled chest, I felt Alistair's hands wander down to my hips; he used his grip to encourage me to move, and once again I rode him. I loved the closeness, with him sitting up – it was nice to be at eye-level and be able to kiss without contortion. I wasn't going to come again – I was fairly certain that whatever controlled that function had closed for the night – and I planned to enjoy making it all about him for once. Along those lines, I concentrated, and for the first time in my life, purposefully tried to flex the muscles I could feel contracting during an orgasm. It took me a couple of tries to get it right, and I could tell I had when he gasped and picked up even more speed. He was now in control, his powerful arms lifting me and slamming me back down onto him, and I watched his face as I contracted my muscles in time. I cupped his cheeks in my hands, and like he had done to me earlier, demanded he look at me.

His face contorted in pleasure, and he looked absolutely gorgeous, hedonistic and, well, like I imagined Adonis would as he fought to maintain eye contact while his hips jerked and he spent inside me. A curl of heat spread from my centre as I watched him, and I'd never felt more satiated in my life. He flopped back, panting and trying to recover, and I went with him, laying on his chest. He finally softened, and we both shuddered as he slipped out of me; I slid to one side of him, still cradled in his arm, and molded my body to his side. I reached down and grabbed a light blanket to cover us, not cold, but imagining I would be once the sweat I could feel coating me began to dry.

"So I have a question."

"I'm not going to say 'hit me', if that's what you're hoping."

I giggled. "I wouldn't. I only abuse my brother. Making up for all the years of tormenting him that I missed while we were growing up."

He snorted, and I could hear the grin. "I'm so glad the two of you found each other."

"Me too. But back to my question." I lifted my head and gave him my best scowl. "I thought you were a virgin, before yesterday."

He raised an eyebrow, expression puzzled. "I was."

"I don't believe you."

"You knew I was before we even met, how can you not believe me?"

"Well…okay so I've mentioned before that where I'm from, information about sex is easily available, for anyone who wants it."

"Yes…?"

"And I imagine almost everyone spends at least a little bit of time 'educating' themselves. I did. And in everything I ever read, everyone I ever asked about sex, they all agreed about one thing – the first time with an inexperienced partner is supposed to be terrible for the woman. No control, overly excited, that sort of thing. My limited experience certainly agrees with that. But this was incredible. I know, Grey Warden stamina is part of it, at least in terms of recovery time, but…"

He blushed. "Confession time." I raised one eyebrow. "I, uh, 'educated' myself a bit too."

"You did? How?"

He grimaced. "Zevran."

"You asked Zevran for sex advice?" My voice went all shrill, and I clapped my hand over my mouth to stop it from saying anything else.

"Not exactly. At first, I just…paid attention, when he would talk. And all he talks about is sex, so that was fairly enlightening. Especially late at night, like on watch…I'd wake up from a Darkspawn nightmare and end up listening to him talk to Aedan or whoever. He and Leliana even spent a couple of nights comparing notes. He mentioned all sorts of 'secrets' he learned from living in a whore house, like for example, how the men would…" He made a hand gesture that was understandable in any culture, and I giggled at his scarlet face. "Before. So that they could be better."

"You did that?" I was too tired to be turned on, but the thought of him stroking himself was almost enough for me to overcome that obstacle.

He nodded, refusing to meet my eyes. "In the bath. Earlier."

_Now I have a mental image. Damn you Alistair!_

"So at first," he continued, "I just eavesdropped, but after a while, I would listen openly, and blush and stammer and act all confused, and you know how he loves to embarrass me, so I could sort of…lead the conversation where I wanted it to go."

My mouth open, I stared at him in shock. "You are…you are devious! I can't believe you faked that innocent act."

He chuckled nervously. "Not entirely, I mean, I was completely embarrassed, but it was…educational."

I shook my head, impressed yet again at the maturity and confidence it took for him to go to Zevran for advice, even if in a round-about fashion. Not to mention the acting skills! Game Alistair would have run away with his hands over his ears, singing loudly to himself.

I fell asleep with my head on his chest, a smile plastered to my face. For the first time in months, I was going to sleep sated instead of frustrated, and the soft susurration of his heartbeat was better than a lullaby.

When I woke, I was a bit disoriented; I was no longer resting on his chest, but instead curled up with Alistair spooned behind me. My head was on his outstretched arm, his other lay loosely on my hip. The room was dark; the candles had gone out. I had no idea what time it was, and I struggled to figure out what woke me. And then Alistair twitched, and I realised he was dreaming. I worried that it might be a darkspawn nightmare, until I heard him softly moan my name. When he twitched again, his arousal, which had worked its way between my thighs to press against my sex from behind, was enough of a clue as to what he was dreaming about. I blushed, embarrassed and aroused in the same breath.

I debated – what to do? Should I let him enjoy his dream, or wake him and make it come true, whatever it was? I decided that neither was entirely appropriate, but instead chose option C. There was plenty of moisture to be found, between our earlier exertions and my re-awakened desire, so I tilted my hips and awkwardly reached down to gently grasp his manhood and angle it properly. I slowly, carefully wriggled backwards and impaled myself on his length.

With some rest, most of the soreness had gone, but I found myself feeling stiff, like the morning after a new workout at the gym. Fortunately the position didn't require too many contortions, so I was free just to enjoy the stretch. He'd come half-awake during the process, if the hand clenching my hip was any indication, but there didn't appear yet to be coherent thought behind it based on the confused, dream-like muttering in my ear. Undeterred, I purposefully clenched, drawing a gasp and a surprised thrust from behind. _Oh, that's better than I even thought it would be._ I did it again, combining it this time with a pelvic tilt that slid him just slightly deeper inside me, and he groaned.

Now more awake, his arm, which pillowed my head so comfortably, bent down at a surprising angle and his fingers unerringly found my breast. The other, still gripping my hip, pulled me back as he thrust forward. The position did not allow him much freedom to move, but even the short strokes felt heavenly and I trembled as he began teasing my nipple. We continued like that, and I floated in a haze of pleasure, knowing it wasn't enough to bring me over, but content to draw things out for a while.

After a few minutes, his panting, gasping breaths in my ear became low growls, and I could feel he wanted more. I assumed he would pull out and we would reposition, but to my surprise he just rolled me forward a little, spreading my knees slightly so he could put his own knee down between mine, tilting my hips up, and used his improved leverage in combination with gravity to get the increased speed and depth he wanted. I could do nothing but moan wantonly, especially when his hand left my hip and quested forward to begin tormenting my aroused clit.

Lying there, in the pitch black, with Alistair in me and on me, all around me, I was struck by the strangest feeling. I was sort of embarrassed, but it was a weird combination of rightness, and possession, and connectedness I'd never even imagined before. Despite not being able to see, I knew exactly what he was going to do, and he knew exactly what to do to increase my pleasure without having to ask. I almost couldn't tell where I stopped and he began, and it was intoxicating. But I didn't say any of that; all I could do was moan and writhe and do my best to thrust back towards him and allow the waves of my orgasm to wash over me.

His relentless movement inside me and the pressure on my clit kept my orgasm going until I felt him press into me, hard, and stay there as he groaned out my name; the heat I could feel told me he'd found his release, and his hand finally fell away from my abused clit as I shuddered.

I muttered under my breath as we both sprawled, sated and exhausted. "Hallelujah."

"What?"

"Tell you tomorrow."

"Deal."

I didn't even really get the chance to come down; exhausted, I fell asleep mid-shudder, with him still inside me, his weight still on my back.

When I next opened my eyes, I could feel by the tension in the body spooned behind me that Alistair was awake. The early morning light was filtering through the shutters, I was guessing it was barely after dawn, and between the blankets and the enormous templar body-warmer, I was gloriously warm for possibly the first time since being in Ferelden. I cleared my throat, voice slightly hoarse and still thick from sleep.

"Good morning."

He hesitated before speaking, and when he did his voice was subdued. "Good morning."

I started to worry that he somehow had morning-after regrets, though I wouldn't have expected that. "Love? What's wrong?"

He sighed and shifted slightly away from me, letting cool air sneak in between us; I was suddenly chilled much more than the dropping temperature would account for.

"What's this?" I felt one finger tap me on the back, and I wrinkled my brow in confusion. _Do I have something stuck in my hair?_ And then it occurred to me what he was tapping on.

"It's a tattoo." I blushed, happy that he wouldn't be able to see it from behind.

"I gathered that. Why, exactly, do you have a tattoo of a dragon and a griffon, and a Chantry symbol of all things? Whose initials are these?"

I sighed. I mostly felt bad for Alistair, that his confidence, while better than it had been in game, wasn't good enough for him to guess.

"I got it after Haven. It…was an emotional time, for me, and I felt like I needed something to mark the occasion somehow. I asked Zevran to do it, and he did."

"That's what you were doing in his tent for hours? Really? I wondered, but after I made such an ass of myself, I didn't want to ask in case you took it the wrong way."

I giggled. "Yeah, that might not have gone over well."

He snorted. "I still have a bruise on my ear to remind me not to piss you off." I giggled again. "That still doesn't explain the tattoo, you know."

"I…it's hard to explain. The dragon, obviously, represents the Archdemon, but also just the…differences, I guess, between Thedas and where I grew up. And the griffon represents what I found here – yes, Grey Wardens, but also family, and strength. And the Chantry symbol is because…I might not be an Andrastian, but someone, maybe your Maker or maybe someone else, brought me here and let me find you and Aedan, so I guess it's my way of showing gratitude."

He was quiet for a bit, and I could practically hear the wheels turning as he thought about it. "And the initials?" His voice was barely a whisper, but I couldn't decide if it was hopeful or worried.

"I didn't ask for them. I was as surprised as you when I saw them there. Zevran claims they are random swirls and that it was only my wishful thinking that made them look like letters. He thought he was so clever." I sniffed, remembering his smug smile.

"And…?"

"For the love of all that's holy, Alistair! The 'S' is obviously me. The 'A' is you, you idiot! I told you, everyone knew how I felt about you. When I asked about them, Zev offered to change them, to colour over them, but…even though I thought, at the time, that I'd never get to be with you, it was…it was the only way I could keep you with me, somehow. And then I thought you hated me, and it seemed like it was all I'd ever have of you, since I couldn't even have your friendship."

My eyes were moist, and I blinked rapidly, trying to clear them. _I am not going to cry, not over this._ I was shocked when his arms encircled me from behind, shifting me so I faced him and then crushing me to his chest. He stroked my hair, tilting my chin to look into my eyes. His own eyes were bright with unshed tears as well, and he had to clear his throat a couple of times before he could speak.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I never hated you, Sierra. Was jealous and insecure, sure…I guess I still am, really. It isn't you. It was never you. Sometimes I just can't believe that you are here with me. It seems too unreal. You could have anyone you wanted; you could be Queen, if that's what you wanted – I know Cailan was considering it. Why would you want to be with me? I'm not complaining, of course, and I'm not trying to excuse my behaviour, I'm just…explaining, I guess. If I were you, I wouldn't be with me. I could never assume that 'A' was for me."

"I know, Alistair. I'm not really frustrated with you. Actually what I'd like to do is kick Eamon's and Isolde's asses for making you so insecure in the first place."

"Eamon took me in, and he didn't have to. I-"

I cut him off. "Eamon took you in exactly because he had to, Alistair. Maric made him. Maric promised your mother to raise you away from court, but he wanted you somewhere he thought you'd be safe. He loved your mother; he begged her to stay, but she could not. He loved you. My guess is he wanted you trained as a knight, to someday quietly settle you as the Bann of something or other. Why he decided that his brother-in-law, the brother of his late wife, who had no relation to you and who would see you as a potential stain on his sister's memory, should be the one to raise you I will never understand. Or maybe I do – Eamon has a way of making others think he's an honourable guy. Maybe Maric fell for it. He should have sent you to Rainesfere or even Highever, though I expect he worried that if someone discovered who you were they would try to use you against Cailan when the time came…

"Regardless, I can guarantee that he did not want you sleeping in the hayloft, or mucking out the kennels, or being treated as less than a servant. Or going to the Chantry, for that matter. I bet that Eamon took you into the castle and had you cleaned up and looking presentable every time Maric visited, am I right?" He looked thoughtful, but after a short hesitation, slowly nodded. "He couldn't allow Maric to find out how you lived. I can only assume that Eamon sent you off to the Chantry without notifying Maric, and by the time he found out it was too late. He couldn't rescue you without acknowledging you, and he'd promised not to. I more than suspect that Maric asked Duncan to get you out of the Chantry before you took your vows. Of course, he didn't know that the Joining could have killed you."

His face was drawn, expression sad as he thought about what I'd said. I wanted to take his pain away, but knew only time could do that. I leaned in and kissed him softly.

"I know you feel grateful to Eamon, and I commend you on your charitable attitude. Personally, I'd like to kick him in the unmentionables with steel-toed boots on. That's one of the ways I know you're a better person than I am." I grinned, and he smiled weakly. "But the fact remains, you are a good person, an incredibly strong person, as well as being gorgeous and sweet and thoughtful and extremely good in bed. How about you just stop thinking of yourself as being undeserving, or I will have to spank you. And while Zevran might think that sounds like fun, I can assure you, you won't enjoy it."

He laughed, and something in his face changed. I knew he hadn't taken it in, hadn't accepted everything just yet, but at that moment I knew he would, eventually. And I couldn't have been more proud.

"Speaking of…"

"You're really going to start a sentence with 'speaking of spanking'?"

"Just shut up, woman."

He kissed me then, and the passion was undeniable. As sore as I was, when he took my nipple into his mouth and started stroking my clit, I couldn't have said no if my life depended on it. After I came on his fingers, he rolled between my thighs and didn't stop until I was screaming his name.

As I shuddered to a halt, he asked me about my strange outburst in the night.

"What's that hall thing?"

"Hall…? Right. Hallelujah. It's…Hmm. Hallelujah is something people on Earth say when they are praising God for something. 'Hallelujah, we are saved!' But it's also a song, and the words of one of the verses just seemed really appropriate."

"Well now you have to sing it for me."

"Maybe later. Or, you know, not. But the verse I was thinking of goes like this: Remember when I moved in you, the holy dark was moving too, and every breath we drew was hallelujah?"

He kissed me softly, and I smiled into his mouth. "Maybe I'll teach it to Leli later."

* * *

A/N:

As usual, I don't own Dragon Age. Many thanks to Kira Tamarion and Melysande for their invaluable betaing skills!

Here's a shout out to those I am currently betaing for: OnkelJo and Enchantm3nt both have fun stories posted - take a look!

Reviews: chapter 43 and 44

Enchantm3nt: I have to admit I catch myself sometimes not being able to tell whether I'm thinking of in-game Alistair or my AU Alistair - hardly surprising Sierra can't keep it straight. Hope you enjoyed the steamy bits!

Emily cousland (Guest): Your mom seriously objects to writing? That's just...sad. Mine objects to computer games, not writing :)

Ajp25: I too am super-dooper looking forward to the Landmeet. If only stupid Orzammar wasn't in the way... :)

AnnabelleHawke022812: He has just a little chest hair. Not like, I dunno, Varric or something :) Fergus...I have plans. Should be fun. but not for a while...he's still lost in the Wilds somewhere :)

ShellyGamerGal: Hope the steamy bits lived up to expectations :)

Flower248: Sorry about the tease. But here's the next chapter!

Lexibarnett: She hasn't stopped popping back and forth. Promise. There's just been a lot happening so each chapter doesn't take up that much time...

And thanks to: brandischoch, renegadelove, and Anderslove for your reviews as well!


	3. Chapter 46: The Morning After

**Note: This is the NSFW version of this story. If you'd prefer, a version without explicit content is available - see my profile for details.**

**Chapter Forty-Six: The Morning After**

I fell asleep again, I assume, because when I woke up I was being very gently washed. Alistair knelt on the bed beside me, an intense look of concentration on his face. Seeing that I was awake, he encouraged me to roll onto my back and spread my thighs, and he wiped away our combined secretions from first my thighs, then even more gently from my groin. I watched his face, admiring how beautiful he was, wishing I could show him what he looked like from my perspective.

His eyes went wide, and his absorbed look was suddenly replaced with a frightened expression.

"Alistair, what's wrong?"

"I…you…" He gestured helplessly at the cloth he was holding, and I looked down to see traces of blood staining the fabric. "You told me I didn't hurt you." Self-recrimination was obvious in his voice.

"It's okay. I'm not injured, Alistair. It's just that…well, you know that I have a different body, back where I came from, right?"

He nodded, still frowning.

"Well, it was that body that had sex before. Not this one. It's normal for a woman to bleed a small amount after the first time."

His frown lifted, and he finally met my eyes, seeming to judge the truth of my words.

"I'm not in pain, love. A bit stiff, I have to admit, but nothing like what I would feel if you had hurt me."

He relaxed, finally. "Maybe we should have Wynne check you out, just in case?"

"Again, what would I say? I fell down the stairs, could you see why I'm bleeding from the-"

"Okay, okay!"

"Are you that embarrassed by the word?"

His expression became evasive. "What word?"

"Vagina."

Evasive gave way to beet red. "Ah! Don't say that."

"Really? You're perfectly willing to play with it, but you can't say it?" I giggled. "Vagina. Vagina vagina vagina."

He put his hands over his ears, and started humming to himself. "La la la, not listening!"

I cracked up, and he finally joined in with a small chuckle when he saw I was laughing too hard to keep saying the word. "Remind me to talk dirty next time we're-"

He leapt out of bed, talking over me in a desperate attempt to block out what I was saying and change the subject. "So I suppose we should get dressed, I bet Aedan is waiting for us downstairs."

I giggled, but let the subject change stand. Getting up, I realised I was quite a bit more stiff than I'd let on, but determined not to let it show. Stretching triggered an appreciative groan from Alistair, and I ignored it, picking through my clothes and chose a shirt and pair of pants. I got distracted watching Alistair shimmy into his own pants, blushing and hurrying to slip into mine when he caught me staring. When I grabbed my bra, I had to stop and show Alistair how the clasps and the elastic worked; he was fascinated by the garment. Finally putting it on, I felt the need to run my hands over his strong chest one more time before he got his shirt in place, and he blushed.

Going down stairs proved to be quite uncomfortable on my hips and groin muscles, and I bit my cheek to keep from grunting in pain. Happily the stairs were narrow, so Alistair had to descend in front of me and couldn't see my face. We found most of our companions at a round table in the corner already stuffing their faces; the place was otherwise nearly deserted. Leliana looked at us suspiciously, breaking out into a full smile when she saw me grinning; Aedan refused to make eye contact, and Wynne greeted us absent-mindedly, her nose still in her book. Zevran was across the room talking to someone, nodding as the other man gestured. He was tall, at least by comparison to the elf, but his features were obscured by a hood. Zevran was the only one in armour; everyone else wore simple clothing. I shrugged and sat, Alistair on one side, a gap and then Aedan on the other.

Aedan waved at Sanga and she nodded, I assumed understanding she was to bring us out plates as well. There were something that looked like scones, jam, sausages, and even pancakes; I was suddenly starving. _Too much exercise last night…_I heaped my plate full when it was presented to me, triggering a peal of laughter from Leliana, and an irritated grunt from Aedan. I couldn't figure out what his problem was, until I noticed his ears were red and a vein pulsing in his forehead. _He must have guessed what happened with Alistair and I last night_…I wondered if he'd come to knock on the door at an inconvenient time or something. I decided to ignore it and hope he got over it.

When Zevran returned, he sat beside me with a flourish, taking my hand and kissing it ostentatiously, like he hadn't done since shortly after we first met, calling me his 'beautiful dove'. Alistair didn't even stiffen – _I guess his confidence is in better shape than I thought!_ - but I was confused, until I felt something being firmly pressed into my hand. When Zev released me, I had a small bottle in my grasp. I held it down, between him and me, and glanced at it surreptitiously, only to realise it was a healing potion like he'd given me after my tattoo, like the ones Wayne used to give me after training to treat pulled muscles, only empty. I raised my eyebrows at him, but he just smiled innocently and nodded toward my mug. I hadn't even seen him dose my drink!

_Does everyone know we had sex?_ I sighed, but took a big sip of whatever it was. It tasted horrible, but I wasn't sure if it was the watered ale or the potion causing the problem. I covered my gag and slammed the rest of the contents back. Within a couple of minutes, my stiffness eased off, and some stinging I hadn't even noticed disappeared. I grinned at Zev, and he grinned back.

Once everyone had eaten, we started discussing plans for the day. Leliana claimed me for some shopping; Aedan wanted Zev, Alistair, Wynne, Prince, and himself to go find themselves some work, though he was a bit vague on what they would do. I mentioned Sergeant Kylon, and he nodded; they also thought they'd try the Chanter's board. While they were out, they were going to scope out the street where Marjolaine was staying, and Leli and I had strict orders to stay well away. We decided that Leliana could go as my bodyguard, and therefore wear her helmet, much to the bard's dismay, but we figured it was safe enough for my face to be seen – Loghain knew nothing about me.

Alistair, Aedan, Leliana, and Wynne headed up to their respective rooms to gear up, while Zevran and I stayed in the common room and chatted for a while since he was already in armour, and I was in no rush; I'd need another bath before I could possibly pass as a Ferelden noblewoman. As soon as everyone cleared the room, I turned to Zev, determined to get some answers.

"Okay, so what was that all about last night with Alistair? What did you give him?"

Zevran's eyes sparkled mischievously. "Our beloved Warden merely asked me if I knew of anything to improve his performance in the bedroom, bella donna. He was nervous that he might not be able to please you. And it worked, did it not? You certainly look…pleased, yes?"

I stared at him for a moment, still startled beyond compare that Alistair would have gone to the assassin for sex advice. And then the rest of what he said filtered in, and I face-palmed.

I hissed under my breath, not wanting anyone to hear my response. "You gave him Viagra? Are you kidding me? Six times, Zevran. I had six orgasms in about four hours! I was pretty sure I'd have a stroke, at one point in there. You could have at least given him a half-dose, for the love of God."

"Ah, but cara mia, you misunderstand me. He asked for something to improve performance. I did not give him such a thing. I am well-familiar with Grey Warden stamina, my dove. I knew he needed nothing to boost performance except for possibly some confidence. So I gave him some harmless elfroot extract, which at best would have taken care of any minor discomforts he had, and I took the liberty of adding in a…well, it wouldn't do to have a child during a blight, no? I told him it would ensure he was able to perform to the best of his ability, and let him assume the rest. It was not precisely a lie, was it? And I'd say it turned out rather well."

My mouth fell open and I stammered uselessly for a moment before collecting myself again. "You gave him a placebo, and birth control?" I contemplated Zevran's rather thoughtful gesture. A pregnancy definitely wasn't in any of our best interests. But he didn't know that I had an IUD, back on Earth, so we didn't need the contraceptive. _Although, that's a different body…maybe we do? But I haven't had my period, since I came here…._My head threatened to explode, and I concentrated on Zevran's words.

"I do not know this word, placebo. But if you mean I told him it was medicinal when it wasn't, exactly, then yes. I did."

"And he still…six times?"

"Grey Wardens are marvelous, are they not?"

"Well, at least I know how you knew we had sex last night."

"Ah, well, I hate to disagree with a beautiful woman such as yourself, but bella donna…I am certain that everyone within three blocks of this establishment knows you were, shall we say, busy, last night. You are not precisely…quiet."

My face felt hot, and I buried it in my hands, rocking in agitation. "I…we…were that loud?"

I risked a glance at his face, and he gave me a wicked smile. I groaned. "No wonder Aedan was so weird at breakfast!"

"Hmm? Oh, yes, well, that was one reason, I suppose."

"One reason?"

"I rather think he was concerned about running into a certain lusty pirate queen."

"Where is Isabela this morning, anyway?"

"I imagine she crept into her own room to try to catch a little bit of sleep."

Something in his voice made me suspicious, and I turned to look at Zevran, puzzled. "She was awake all night?" He nodded, his expression, if possible, even more smug than normal. My eyes widened in horror. "You didn't. Zevran! Please tell me you did not debauch my brother with Isabela."

His grin widened slightly, and then his innocent look slipped into place. "I did not. Your brother was three sheets to the wind, and he and Isabela managed to…'debauch'…all on their own, really. I mostly watched – the first time, anyway." The glint in his eye belied his Chantry-goer expression.

I stammered again. "I was joking when I suggested it!"

His innocent façade slipped and he actually giggled. "Well, perhaps you should be careful what you joke about, yes?"

And then I knew why Isabela hadn't stayed in the common room for the brawl. She had somewhere else to be. I groaned again, hiding my blushing face in my hands yet again_. I'll never be able to look Aedan in the eye again. Wait…_

"Zevran?"

"Yes, cara mia?"

"Wasn't that his first time with a woman?" After he had admitted to his sexual preference, Aedan and I had a few frank discussions about his experience, or lack thereof prior to Zevran, which basically consisted of some hidden, furtive groping sessions with Ser Gilmore.

"I believe so, yes."

I slapped my forehead again. "You let him…his first…Isabela?" I couldn't even talk, between mortification and righteous indignation.

"I don't believe he had any complaints. Of course, he wouldn't admit to such with her right there, I suppose…"

"Zevran, I'm going to kill you. One day, when you least expect it."

"What did he do now?" Leliana plopped onto the bench beside me, expression amused.

"Never mind. I need to have a bath."

"Wait. Before you go…well, here." He handed me a small bottle, filled with a grey powder.

"What's this?"

"The…medicine, I told you about. For Alistair. A small pinch per day, yes?" Zevran grinned cheekily.

I hopped up, slapped Zev lightly on the back of the head, earning myself a lascivious chuckle, and then headed up to the bathing facilities. I ran into Aedan and Alistair, getting a hug from the first, and a rather enthusiastic kiss from the second. I reminded them both to stay safe before they left to do their recon and make some money. Leliana must have warned someone about the bath, because the boy was leaving the bathing chamber as I arrived, and the sunken tub was steaming.

I washed my hair, then soaped the rest of me, enjoying the feeling of ridding myself of the sweat I'd earned overnight. One of the little bottles near the tub smelled sort of like conditioner, so I put some in my hair, and to my delight, was able to easily comb through my usually tangled hair. I decided to ask Sanga if I could buy some later. I slipped into my fake-velvet dress, tied my hair up in a braided bun, and headed back down into the common room. Leliana waited there alone, and when I arrived, she slipped on her helmet and escorted me back to the market.

We shopped for the morning, buying me two pairs of sensible shoes, and each of us one pair of completely frivolous fancy shoes. She insisted on ordering me a new dress, a proper Fereldan noblewoman's dress, though I gathered the fashions were not quite to the bard's standards. I thought it was beautiful; it was a deep burgundy with gold accents, was going to be tight through the bodice, and then flow to the floor and swish when I walked. I had no idea when she thought I would wear it, but I couldn't dissuade her.

No one in the market bothered us, though we saw plenty of mercenaries who watched us appreciatively; I guessed Leliana being clearly armed to the hilt discouraged any harassment. We ate meat pies bought from a street vendor for lunch, and despite having no idea what sort of meat they contained, I managed to get mine down without problems. Leliana clearly wanted to quiz me about the previous evening, but it would have looked strange for a bodyguard to be giggling with her employer, so she decided to wait.

I looked for a red-bearded dwarf in the market, but didn't find him; I hoped nothing had happened to Gorim, with all the changes that had happened since my arrival. I resolved to take Aedan and find him the next day.

Tired from the lack of sleep the night before and from the walking, we headed back to the Pearl in the early afternoon. Isabela was in the common room, eyes puffy and red, sipping at some broth, and I had to laugh. _Apparently Aedan wasn't the only one who overindulged last night!_ The pirate invited Leli and I to sit with her; by mutual unspoken consent, we sat together opposite the Rivaini.

We chatted for a while, before it occurred to me that there were some things I wanted to tell Isabela. I thought about it while we talked. I didn't want to warn her off the disastrous slave transporting job she would take after the ending of the Blight – who knew what would happen to those poor people if someone else took the contract, and had less conscience – but I did want to stop her stealing the Tome of Koslun, if at all possible. Then it occurred to me that if I stopped her, Castillon might hire someone else to steal it instead, and it could be an even bigger political disaster with the Qunari. In the end, I gave her a vague warning about finding someone named Hawke, and trusting them with whatever trouble she was in. Perhaps if Isabela opened up to Hawke sooner, she could prevent some of the worst of the destruction. Isabela was suspicious and a bit creeped out, I think. I couldn't help it; I wasn't about to explain to her what was going on.

I shook my head, trying to clear it. I couldn't save everyone, even with all my knowledge, and I knew that; it didn't make it any easier to live with.

Once Isabela had excused herself to head to the docks and check on her ship, I peppered Leliana with questions about mailing letters to people, and she assured me that she could ensure any letters I wrote found their intended recipients, for perhaps two sovereigns per letter. I thought about what I wanted to say to whom for a long time, but didn't come up with anything definitive and resolved to think about it a while longer. I had plenty of coin, at least; Aedan had continued Duncan's habit of splitting our coin between himself, Alistair, and me, as well as making sure our companions had enough to buy whatever they needed, but then always paid for things out of his own purse anyway, so my stash probably amounted to more than thirty sovereigns.

Leliana then started quizzing me about my night with Alistair. Much to her chagrin, I refused to give her any details, but she knew without being told that we'd finally had sex. And the shit-eating grin on my face must have given something away, because she was blushing and giggling almost as much as I was.

I went up to the room I shared with Alistair and had a nap; the sheets had been changed, and the room aired out. _I could get used to this…but I'd better not._ When Alistair came in, a few hours later, his armour covered in gore, I scrambled out of bed in a panic.

"What happened? Are you alright?" I immediately started checking him over for injuries. "I hate not being there. I should have been. Why did I let you go without me?"

He tried to push away my hands, eventually grabbing my wrists to still them. "I'm fine! Sierra. Look at me. I'm fine. None of this blood is mine. We're all fine. We did some work for the Chanter's board. And there's a group of mercenaries trying to clean up some of the problems in the Market District, and it's been a mini-civil war in the back alleys. We helped out some group called the Black…something. I don't know what good it will do, but it paid well, so good enough."

I stopped. "The Blackstone Irregulars?"

"That sounds right. You know them?"

"A bit. I don't remember exactly… Let me think. They'll have all sorts of paying work, though at some point the leader's son will attempt a coup, and try to hire you to assassinate his father, or something. Don't do it. The son is a creep."

He laughed. "I love you, have I told you that today?" He leaned down to kiss me, and I quickly moved away. He pouted.

"You've got blood on your face."

"Maker! Sorry. I'll go have a bath, quickly. Then maybe we can try that kiss again?"

The glint in his eye made it obvious he was hoping for more than a kiss, and I shivered. "I have a better idea."

"Oh?"

"How about I help you wash?"

I don't think I'd ever imagined someone in heavy plate armour getting undressed so fast.

We had the tub filled, both of us red-faced and giggling as the boy who hauled the water grinned cheekily and winked at Alistair when he thought I wasn't looking. We gave him Alistair's armour to be cleaned, and then locked the door. I slipped my simple dress over my head, and slid into the bath, which was hot and smelled sort of foresty. Alistair's gaze never left me as I waited for him to rinse the worst of the blood off his skin and hair in a bucket before joining me.

Alistair wet was even more fantastic than Alistair any other way, and I was drawn to him like iron to a magnet. Kneeling in the tub, facing each other, I took the cloth and began washing his face, neck, arms, and chest, while he just watched me with dark eyes. He stood, and I washed his stomach and legs, both of us blushing as that put his manhood on the level with my face. When he sat back down, I had him turn so his back was to me, and washed that as well, then massaged his scalp with shampoo. He floated on his back, his eyes closed, a blissful look on his face, and I rinsed his hair carefully before leaning over him and pressing a kiss to his soft lips.

That was apparently the invitation he'd been looking for; he sat up, drawing me into his lap so I straddled him, and kissed me again. I could feel his hardness against my thigh, and raised myself a little to capture it inside me before sinking down to rest against his legs. His hands stroked me everywhere, gently but firmly so as not to tickle, and he soon had me whimpering with need. I started to move, lifting up and dropping back down, but he moved his hands to my hips to keep me moving slowly, teasing us both. The leisurely speed allowed us to maintain the connection with our lips, and he swallowed my moans as the heat in my core increased. I wanted to speed up, desperate for release, wanting to feel him spend inside me, but he held me relentlessly and all I could do was endure.

When release finally did come it was somehow softer, smoother than the frenzy in the night, but at the same time strangely more intense and fulfilling. He shuddered through his own at the same time; I felt like I was closer to Alistair when it was over than I had been before and I collapsed into his arms with a long sigh.

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A/N:

I don't own Dragon Age, as much as I wish I did!

Thanks to Melysande and Kira Tamarion for their help with beta-reading this!

Reviews:

AnnabelleHawke022812: I'm glad Alistair's chest hair has your approval ;) I try for realism in my smut. Hopefully it works! Yeah, I'd have liked to hear the conversations between Zev and a sneaky blushy Alistair...

Enchantm3nt: Yeah, I like the smut (obviously). But I don't like PWP smut. It should help explain the characters or advance the relationship or something. So, glad that worked out :) And for the record, I despise Eamon, so Sierra's not going to be overly complimentary...

VeryaTirananniel: No pitter-patter of little feet, as you can see. Sierra was assuming her Earth contraceptive would work, but Zev made sure :) Sadly Sten is back at camp outside of Denerim, but yeah...he'd be mind-boggled, I'm sure.

Guest: I will cover some aspects of both Awakening and DA2. Not the same as Origins, since Sierra won't be in Kirkwall, but some of the stuff will show up...

Cly1978: Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'd assume I was crazy, and decide I might as well have fun with Alistair while it lasted...poor Sierra's a little less sure :)

Pervinca T: Welcome! I'm glad I could suck you in :) I certainly try to avoid both DID (damsel in distress) and Mary-Sue ends of the spectrum, but it's a fine line. I rely on you all to tell me if I fall! I'm happy to have proved your assumptions wrong! :)

Dolce Latte van Creme: No point in being embarrassed! There's nothing wrong with enjoying smut. Millions of people can't be wrong :) And it's not like it "Hard Times in High Town" sort of smut, so...just enjoy :)

And thanks to Guest, ShellyGamerGal, sweetnessnme, and Flower248 for their reviews which didn't have specific questions!


	4. Chapter 47: Panic and Planning

**This is the original unedited version of this story, including graphic descriptions of sex. For a non-explicit version, please see the original story There and Back Again.**

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**Chapter Forty-Seven: Panic and Planning**

We finally, reluctantly climbed out of the now-cool water and got dressed, teasing each other and laughing the whole time. When we finally made it out of the bathing room, a passing servant pointed us to a small private dining room that Aedan had apparently rented after the brawl fiasco from the night before. Everyone had cleaned up, and we had a wonderful dinner just talking and laughing. Everyone avoided talking business, and it felt like a wonderful preview of what it might be like when the blight was over.

Back in our room, Alistair swallowed the noxious pinch of powder from the vial Zevran had given me; we knew that having a child would be difficult, given my possible birth control and his being a Grey Warden, but we decided that caution was probably for the best. It still seemed weird to me that birth control was something you gave to a man, not a woman. To my surprise, Alistair expressed incredible longing to have a family of his own, some day; I supposed, given his upbringing, it wasn't so strange. Growing up without one made the urge to have a family that much greater, as I could testify to from personal experience.

We made slow sweet love again before passing out, limbs intertwined; somehow I thought that having been with him my desire would be less immediate, less desperate, but if anything I wanted him more than I had before. We woke in the night and reached for each other again; my last thought before sleep claimed me the second time was that I was going to have to get good at making healing potions if we kept up at the same rate much longer.

I woke early in the morning, to find Alistair still deeply asleep, his beautiful face relaxed as he snored softly. I was starving; I slid out of bed, carefully and as quietly as I could manage, and slipped on a loose-fitting linen dress from the pile of clothes in the corner. I went down to the main room to find us something for breakfast. My hair was tousled, my dress wrinkled from hours on the cold stone floor, but I was too sleepy to care, and it was early enough that I might not run into anyone, anyway. I crept into the kitchen, loading up a tray with bread, cheese, and dried fruit, tossing a couple of strips of jerky on top for Alistair. I giggled as I remembered him declaring, at supper the night before, that he wanted 'meat with every meal'. Zevran made a smart comment about offering him some meat, and everyone howled as he blushed scarlet and stammered. I finally distracted the poor boy with a kiss, earning a grin from Aedan, and a wink from Zevran. The memory made me smile.

I passed Leliana in the hall on the way back to the room I shared with Alistair, and she teased me about my hair, making me stop long enough for her to halfway tame it to lay straight down my back, and then I hustled along, chilly in the cold morning air, until I reached the door. I balanced the tray with one hand, awkwardly, almost dropping it as I grabbed for the door handle. Pushing my way inside, I stabilised the tray and deposited it on a table just inside the door, twisting to pull the door shut and lock it.

As I turned back, I gasped as Alistair (who I expected to still be in bed, snoring peacefully) grabbed my arms, pulling me to him, crushing me into his embrace. And suddenly, his hands were in my hair, his lips bruising mine, his tongue in my mouth, and I was breathless in surprise. I could feel passion radiating off him in waves, and it was all I could do to fist my hands in the cotton of his tunic, holding on for dear life. The hair Leliana had carefully arranged was destroyed beyond repair as he tangled his strong fingers into it.

He leaned into me, and I took an involuntary step back under his weight. He pressed again, and I was backed up against the door, our bodies clasped tightly together. His passion was infectious, and I was suddenly desperate to be closer to him. I could feel his muscles contracting under my fingers, and needed to lay my hands on his skin. Releasing his shirt, I slid my arms around his slim waist, slipping down beneath the edge of his tunic and back up to splay my hands against his lower back. His groan was feral, and I was actually frightened for a fraction of a second as my primitive brain responded to the much larger predator it suddenly realised was about to devour me. And I felt devoured; his mouth on mine was savage and demanding, his teeth nipping at my lips, his tongue dueling with mine. A shot of adrenaline coursed through me like fire, and a submissive moan was all I managed in response.

His knee pressed between my legs, and mine separated to allow access. The sounds I could hear were exhilarating and confusing; I was so wrapped up in him I didn't even recognise my own voice. A moan as his thigh pressed against my sex; a sigh as his lips left mine; a gasp as he instead tilted my head and latched onto my neck; a growl as I felt his hardness on my hip. I needed him more than I needed air, and I started scrabbling at the buttons on his tunic, barely managing to disentangle his arms long enough to shove it down to the floor. One of his arms slipped around my waist, giving me an opening to run my fingers through his hair on their way down to stroke across his broad, muscular shoulders. His skin was hot to the touch, a striking contrast to the cold air, and I shuddered in response.

Releasing me again, he reached down to grab at the fabric of my dress, trying to pull it up and get access to my own skin. The voluminous skirts thwarted him, tumbling down around his hands, and finally I pushed him away an inch, grabbed the hem, and lifted my arms, pulling the dress off over my head and tossing it to the floor. I hadn't bothered with bra or underwear for a quick run to the kitchen, and this left me naked. He let out a possessive growl as he raked over me with his eyes, and I flushed, pink traveling from my cheeks, to the tips of my ears, to the tops of my breasts, and I saw his eyes darken with appreciation. Despite the horror-movie hair I knew I must be sporting, I'd never felt so beautiful in my life.

He returned to me then, hands suddenly everywhere, lips glued to my neck, providing both literal and figurative warmth to fight the chill in the air. His thigh returned to its place between my legs, and I could feel the rough linen of his trousers rubbing across my lower lips. I wondered if I'd leave a stain, and decided I didn't care. His hands roamed, from my neck, to cup my breasts, grip my ass and pull me tighter against him, tickle across my abdomen and tease my navel. Each new touch dragged another sound from my lips. He knelt in front of me, sucking each of my small breasts into his mouth in turn, hands still exploring me, and I grabbed a handful of his hair to hold his head in place while shudders ran through me. I felt like molten lava ran through my veins, not blood, and each place he touched was its own miniature volcano. Despite everything, I'd never truly felt feeble before, but in the face of his passion I was weak as a kitten.

When he stood up, I couldn't take it any longer and fumbled at the waist of his trousers. He pushed my hands away, finally ripping the knotted cord that held them up, and kicked them off. I stared at him, my own perfect Adonis, his muscles rippling in time to his panting breaths, and he let me look, a knowing smile playing across his flushed face. My gaze travelled further down and I saw that he was hard, head purple and slightly leaking, reaching up towards me, and I needed him. I almost sobbed with need, hands reaching out for him. He waited another heartbeat, and then two, and I finally found my voice and whispered out a stuttered "Pl...please, Alistair."

The last syllable rose to a cry as he rushed back to me, arms around me, lifting, pressing, and suddenly he had my legs wrapped around his waist, his hands on my ass, and he was lowering me onto him. I tilted my hips slightly as I felt his tip brush over my sex, capturing him and holding the right angle as he filled me. He pressed my back against the door, holding himself still and letting me adjust to his size. I wasn't having that, my need was too great, and I awkwardly tried to thrust my hips against his, scraping my nails across his back. Getting the picture, he buried his face in my neck again and lifted with his arms, sliding me up his cock before mercilessly dropping me back down. I hissed in pleasure, urging him to do it again, and he complied, setting up a rhythm, pounding into me, demanding surrender, and I cried out wantonly.

I heard myself babbling, and as embarrassed as I was, I couldn't seem to stop. As he relentlessly thrust into me, a steady stream of endearments poured from my lips.

"Only for you, Alistair. It was always and only you. I've never wanted anyone else, forever just for you."

I peaked quickly, the lava boiling now, but he was relentless and kept going, kept demanding, and my whispers gave way to a rising keen as my temperature kept increasing, and I wondered if sex could actually make someone's head explode, and then I couldn't think as I came again, hips wriggling uselessly.

Before I even had a chance to draw a breath, he lifted me up and off him, setting my feet shakily on the floor, and I moaned in despair as I was suddenly empty. I didn't have much time to think, however; he turned me, taking my hands and bracing them on the door where my back had been, reached around in front of me to run his fingers through my sodden lips, bent down a bit awkwardly, and suddenly I was filled again from behind.

I bowed my head, resting it against my arms on the door, enjoying the aftershocks of my last orgasm as my walls squeezed him within me. He groaned again, and hunched over me, one hand reaching around to cup a small breast, his thumb flicking across my nipple, while the other steadied my hip. It was his turn to babble, and I heard him breathlessly whispering a mantra of possession and passion.

"You are mine, I'll never let you go. So beautiful! Maker's Breath, I love you, Sierra."

His thrusts increased in tempo again, and realising I was adequately stabilised, his hand followed the line of my hip, down in front, where his deft fingers found my button. Already over stimulated, I thrashed and shrieked, and with a roar his rhythm faltered and I felt him pulse inside me. Shuddering together, his hands finally stilled and slid away from my oversensitive parts, at the same time that he softened and slipped out of me. I turned and threw my arms around his neck, and he chuckled and wrapped his own around me. We clung together as we caught our breath, and then I felt his knees buckle. We collapsed to the ground in slow motion, managing only to turn so I landed in a pile of quilts, that he'd kicked away before bed, instead of on the stone floor. He ended up lying across me, his head pillowed on my breast, his belly pressed against my sex, his hips between my knees, while I lay on my back with my arms around his shoulders. I could feel our mixed secretions seeping out, probably soaking his belly and pooling in the blankets under me, but neither of us cared enough to do anything about it.

I repositioned some of the quilts to provide myself a makeshift pillow, then returned to running my fingers through his hair and stroking his soft skin. It was an interesting contrast between the smooth skin and the hard muscle underneath, and I enjoyed the goosebumps I elicited as I played.

"So...what brought that on, love?" I finally asked, curious.

His voice was muffled as he nuzzled my breast, but I could have sworn he sounded embarrassed.

"I woke up, and you weren't here. I thought...I thought you were gone. Back to your world. That I might never see you again. I jumped up and got dressed, planning to search the place. When you opened the door, I was so relieved, I just...lost control."

"If this is my reward, I'm going to bring you breakfast in bed more often, I think." I grinned and he blushed. "Maybe not for a few days, though. I'm going to need some recovery time."

"Oh, Maker, did I hurt you? I was so frantic..."

"Hurt? No. Never. Wear out? Maybe a little bit." He lifted his head and grinned up at me, face smug. I playfully slapped his shoulder.

"But, Alistair..." I pointed out the amulet that hung around my neck, the only thing I wore besides a satiated templar. "You could have just checked the bedpost. You saw me take this off last night..."

His smugness turned into sheepishness. "I didn't even think to look. I just...panicked." I snickered again.

"Well I'm not complaining." His smug smile resurfaced, and I grinned in return, at the same time that my mind worried. _What will happen the next time I actually disappear?_ I had tried to avoid Alistair for just this reason, but I was too weak...had I doomed him to panic every time I was out of his line of sight for five minutes?

We fell asleep like that, on the floor, his body heat preventing me from getting cold. What finally woke us again was his stomach growling, and we laughed and crawled into the bed, naked, feeding each other playfully. We finally took turns washing up at the washstand and dressing before wandering down to the private dining room Aedan had rented. I was stiff, again, and wondered if I'd get the chance to drag Zev aside and ask if that ever got better, if you could get used to it. And to get a recipe for making those little healing bottles…

We had planned a quiet day, overall; the three rogues were going to do some more recon on Marjolaine's place, and the rest of us were just going to relax. In the dining room, Zev slipped me another healing bottle and then he left with Leli and Aedan, each of them giving me a hug on their way out. It occurred to me that I'd probably not had as many hugs in my entire life prior to Thedas as I had in the couple of months since. I'd begun to take it for granted, even, which was an amazing thought.

Wynne decided to go to the market, and after some assurances from me, Alistair agreed to accompany her; I decided I'd stay at the Pearl and write some letters. He made me promise not to leave without him, and as sweet as it was, it irritated me a little. When I sniped at him and called him 'father', he backed off and apologised for being condescending. I forgave him immediately – _those damn puppy dog eyes!_ – but decided to milk it a little first. I grumbled some more, until he volunteered some payback.

"If you'll forgive me, I promise I will do anything you ask for the rest of the day after I get back."

I grinned, mind spinning. "Anything?"

He actually looked a little bit frightened, but nodded anyway. I grinned lasciviously. "Done." I leaned in to kiss him softly. "Hurry back."

I winked and he blanched before hurrying off to meet Wynne.

I wandered down to the main room of the Pearl and found Sanga, as always, standing near the bar. I had to say she looked like the least likely Madam I could imagine – clean, neatly dressed, and just a little bit matronly. She was probably five years older than me. I tried to imagine her as a prostitute and just couldn't do it. I figured it would be rude to ask, so I just tried not to think about it anymore.

I bought some parchment and a quill pen and ink, and when I told her I'd never used a quill pen, she gave me a strange look but also gifted me some parchment scraps to practice writing on and some blotting sand in a little bag, which was apparently to keep the ink from smudging. I also got some sealing wax. I took my finds back to the private dining room and began to practice what was essentially calligraphy. It wasn't going to be neat – I kept accidentally turning the quill, making the tip vary in width so my letters looked like they were scrawled by a drunk third grader, but it was legible. I figured out the sand – sprinkle it on the words, then roll the parchment and pour the sand back into the bag – and the sealing wax was easy, though I didn't have a ring or anything with which to make an impression.

The first letter flowed fairly easily.

My Lord Nathaniel Howe,

I don't know if this letter will reach you in time, but I hold out hope. You don't know me, though I know much about you. I know you're an honourable man, which is the most important thing for my purposes.

I can't word it any better; your father has gone mad. He is power-hungry and ruthless. You may have heard that he took Highever Castle; the part you won't have heard is that his excuse for doing so, the supposed treachery of the Couslands, was invented by him to justify his actions to the Landsmeet. There is no proof, as there couldn't be; the Couslands were no traitors. You probably also did not hear how he had everyone in the castle slaughtered, including defenseless children and servants, because he could not allow anyone to survive and be questioned.

He has also imprisoned and tortured nobles and Templars alike, and has even set up his new Denerim Estate bedroom with a private entrance to the dungeon so he can be more intimately…involved…with the torture. He now claims the titles not only to his Arling, but also Teyrn of Highever and Arl of Denerim. No one man should have so many noble titles; you know this, I think.

I know you have no reason to believe me, and I don't require you to; all I ask is that you come and see for yourself. I am hopeful that you can help to resolve this, and perhaps even keep your family name from being completely blackened. Please, come and see what he has done, what he has become. Then you can decide what is right.

Maker watch over you,

Sierra Jones

I re-read the letter multiple times, and then put it aside to show Alistair (and Aedan, if he would read it). The next letter required a bit more thought. I knew I couldn't save everyone, but I had to try.

Dear Varric,

You don't know me, and we will probably never meet, though I could wish it were otherwise. I am writing to you with a rather unbelievable story, but I am hoping that I can somehow make you believe it. The lives and happiness of several people you will come to meet and care about depend on it.

I am something of a seer, and I have seen some aspects of the future involving yourself and those around you. I do not know why, all I can do is try to prevent some of the tragedy I have foreseen.

I know that you are planning a Deep Roads Expedition with your brother, Bartrand. I would try to discourage it, but I know it is unlikely you will listen. I hope, then, that I can convince you to at least take some precautions when you do.

The first is: do not touch the red Lyrium, and especially not the idol you will find. And definitely do not allow Bartrand to touch it. Red Lyrium causes insanity, and that idol will cause the death of many, many people. Bartrand will go mad, and in his madness, will try to trap you in the Deep Roads so he does not have to share his treasure. Search your heart; you know he's capable of doing it.

The second is: do not go on the expedition without the Grey Warden mage who will provide the maps you need. There are darkspawn in the Deep Roads, and if someone becomes tainted, he is their only hope for a cure.

You will meet someone, in a year or so, who will agree to be part of the expedition. Her name is Hawke. She will have a startling menagerie of companions, and you will become one as well. I do not know if either of her siblings survived to arrive in Kirkwall. If they did, I beg you to have her send them, and her mother Leandra, away. Anywhere other than Kirkwall will do. If they stay, she will lose everyone. Kirkwall will need Hawke, but if her family stays, there will be only tragedy. Her siblings, if they have survived this far, will either die, end up as Grey Wardens, or end up in the Circle as either Templar or mage; and her mother will be targeted by an insane blood mage and killed. The only way I know for her to keep them safe is to send them far away. Show her this letter, if you think it will help. Her family can return to Ferelden, and if they seek out the Grey Wardens here, I will attempt to ensure they receive whatever aid they require.

Tell Fenris his sister has been blackmailed into setting a trap for him. It's not her fault. Oh, and tell Merrill to leave the damn mirror alone. She will know what I am talking about. If she persists, her clan will perish. The ones she wishes to save are already dead, and nothing can be done to bring either of them back. Get Hawke to talk to her, if she won't listen to you.

I hope that this…decreases the tragedy you will witness over the next ten years. If you ever make it to Ferelden, seek me out with the Grey Wardens. I am not one, but I travel with some.

Maker watch over you.

Sierra Jones

I debated writing a letter specifically to Hawke, and decided to leave it until after the Blight was over. Perhaps I could even convince Anders to take it…_oh bloody hell, Anders. What am I going to do about that? A problem for another day._

I still had some parchment left, so I began to make some lists. I started a small list of items we needed to buy before we left Denerim. I also made a list of odd things about my situation; for the first time since I arrived, I had time to really think about all of the things that didn't make sense about my presence here.

_Let me think_. First, and most obvious – how? How did I get here, and how did my mind get to Earth in the first place if I was really meant to be born a Cousland? Where did my mind find a body to inhabit on Earth? What happened to the original occupant? Had I kicked someone else out of that body? I had to leave that one blank; I had absolutely no idea, and no amount of thinking helped.

Secondly, things that happen to my body in Thedas were mimicked on Earth. If I cut myself in Thedas, my body back there had a cut. If I got a tattoo, it showed up there. But the reverse was not – always – true. My broken nose, my losing my virginity, and my excess weight didn't translate to Thedas. But my laser hair removal and lack of periods did. _How does that even make sense?_ Still no idea. And how was I able to bring items with me in my pockets, some of which persisted in Thedas even after I was dragged back? _Moving right along…_

Third, what happened to my Thedas body when I was back on Earth? My Earth body stayed put wherever it was when I popped over, but the body here disappeared completely. Along those lines, what happened to the body of the baby that was born here with no soul, or mind? Had it died? If not, what had Aedan's parents done with it?

Fourth, why were the intervals that I spent in Thedas increasing, and why would being upset seem to trigger me going back to Earth?

There was the obvious templar thing. How does a person from Earth with no training whatsoever suddenly end up a templar? And why do templar powers here cause electrical blackouts on Earth?

And then there was the fact that to darkspawn, I was completely invisible until I attacked them. Demons, undead, and bandits had no trouble, but somehow I was a black hole around darkspawn. How was that possible? And why me?

In addition, how the heck had David Gaider known enough about Thedas to make a video game that detailed and accurate? Had he been to Thedas as well?

At the end of my list, all I had were questions, and no possible answers. I was frustrated, and no further along than when I'd started.

I jumped and hurried to cover my lists and letters with a blank piece of parchment when I heard the door behind me opening. Sanga came in with a plate of roasted pheasant, some sort of potato thing, and some fresh fruit. I hadn't even realised it was already lunchtime. I ate alone, staring at my lists again, without any further progress. When I'd finished eating, I gathered up my papers and headed back up to my room and took yet another nap.

* * *

A/N:

As always, I don't own Dragon Age. Many thanks to Kira Tamarion and Melysande for their fabulous beta skills.

It seems like summer has been slow for hits and for reviews...so please, please, tell me what you think! My need for external validation has not yet gone away ;)

Reviews:

AnnabelleHawke022812: Thank you! I like Sierra, she's very different from me and it's fun to write. I am not quite so protective of my sibs' sex lives, so I'd probably go with a smack upside the head and leave it at that...especially as Sierra doesn't know that Aedan actually initiated things ;) Poor Sierra meant well, but probably just succeeded in creeping Isabela out LOL. I agree about the crazy monkey sex. Fun, but not necessarily story-driven ;)

Ioialoha: Yeah, Aedan...he is going to have a strange view on sex, I suppose ;)

Flower248: In my head, Zev has adopted Sierra as his sister, or maybe sister-in-law. And he is good to 'his people' :) He is a big sweety, overall. Sierra hasn't popped back in about a month, game time...but no, she hasn't stabilised. No spoilers!

Enchantm3nt: I just could so see Alistair freaking out over the word vagina. Sierra's got a few others in mind to spring on him at a later date ;) Sierra's not quite as overprotective of Aedan as he is of her, but I don't see her getting in a big conversation about his sex life. There's such a thing as too much information ;) I don't see Sierra knowing much about Inquisition, but depending on where I am in writing, and how screwed up I've made the storyline, I may continue the story through DA:I.

And thanks to: brandischoch, ShellyGamerGal, and Emily Cousland (Guest) for their reviews as well!


	5. Chapter 48: Overprotection

**Chapter Forty-Eight: Overprotection**

When I woke, Alistair was creeping into the room, and I startled him when I sat up. Laughing and clutching his chest, he lit a couple more candles and came in. I helped him off with his breastplate – I could barely lift the thing, so it was a bit difficult for him to take off alone, though I knew he could manage. He told me he and Wynne had wandered the market, and he thought he had located Gorim for me. He promised to take me there with Aedan the following morning. Otherwise, Wynne had bought a few things, they had browsed the Wonders of Thedas, and then eaten lunch and come back.

"We went one other place while we were out."

"Oh?"

"You never mentioned that Goldanna was a gold-digging harridan." His tone was light, but his expression was irritated.

I sighed. "Oh, Alistair. I didn't want you to know. I figured since she wasn't actually your sister that you wouldn't have to meet her and be exposed to her shrewishness. I hoped you could keep vaguely happy memories of believing you had a sister. I'm sorry." I suddenly worried I'd have to choose whether to 'harden' him, until I realised that in this altered history, he didn't need it. He was much more confident, had less survivor's guilt, and didn't have that same urge to sacrifice himself for a cause. He wouldn't need to take the throne; he didn't need encouragement to be more selfish. I smiled.

I reached out and took his hand, and he let me. "I should have told you."

He squeezed my hand and smiled softly at me. "I love you. But would you stop trying to protect me?"

"Never. Dare I ask how much coin you gave her?"

"None, actually. You should have seen Wynne when she started moaning about mouths to feed. Besides, I didn't have that much coin on me. I left most of it here, and then between buying Wynne's supplies, and…well, anyway I didn't give her anything."

He was blushing as I encouraged him to lay down and cuddle with me on the bed, and I wondered what he wasn't saying, until he dropped a small box onto the bed between us.

"I bought you something."

"You did? Why? I mean, thank you! That sounded really ungrateful. But is there some special occasion I'm missing?"

He chuckled. "Not at all. I just wanted to."

I picked up the box nervously. "No one has ever bought me anything for no reason before."

"All the more reason for me to do it now."

I leaned in and kissed him, and then turned back to the box. Inside was a delicate silver rose pendant, complete with thorns on the stem, on a sturdy but beautiful silver chain. I stared at it, shocked. It almost exactly matched my tattoo on my Earth body. It was amazing.

I looked up to see him looking a bit anxious. "Alistair, it's…it's gorgeous! I love it. Where did you find something so beautiful?"

"There was a silversmith in the market. I saw it yesterday and had him put the clasp on it and put it on a chain. I just thought it could be like…a reminder." We shared a smile, thinking back a few weeks to when he'd given me the rose.

"I don't need a reminder, I still have that rose. It's still perfectly preserved. But I love this. It is beautiful, and you are sweet." I pulled him into a deeper kiss, then finally sat up and lifted my hair so he could put the chain around my neck. It nestled perfectly into the hollow of my throat. He stroked it with his fingers as he kissed me again, and I purred.

Pulling away once we were both breathless, he gestured to the mess of papers I had scattered on the table near the door. I reached over and grabbed them, showing them to Alistair. He read my letters, asking me more questions about Hawke and her companions in Kirkwall. I told him as much of the story as I could remember, though my memory of the second Dragon Age game was somewhat hazy – I'd only ever played it through once, and it hadn't held the same appeal as the first. But I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't at least try to avert some of the tragedy. I avoided telling him about Anders and Justice. I wasn't sure why, but it felt like another one of those secrets that weren't mine to tell.

"Do you think Howe's son will really come back?"

"I'm not even sure I can get the letter to him. Just a name, with the address being 'the Free Marches' isn't terribly specific. And I'm not sure he could do anything if he did come back. But if he doesn't, and Aedan kills Howe, which he will, he will try to kill Aedan. I'd rather avoid that, if I can. Nate's not a bad guy. I want him to understand why his father has to pay for his actions."

He hugged me again, and then we turned to my list of weird things about Sierra. He didn't have any other ideas, but just the fact that I'd shared it with him and he hadn't run away was comforting. We lay together and just cuddled for a bit more of the afternoon before heading to the dining room together for supper. Aedan, Zev and Leli were waiting for us, all freshly bathed, and Wynne as usual had her nose buried in a book. I stepped over to her to give her an appreciative hug for protecting Alistair from Goldanna for me, and she smiled and patted my shoulder.

While we ate supper, Aedan told us about the guard schedule and floor plan information they'd managed to glean from the house Marjolaine was staying in. Zev had snuck up to peek through the windows, and they had taken turns watching the place all day. It was on the edge of the market district, pretty upscale, really, and quite well guarded, though they'd found a few holes in the security to exploit. They planned to take her down the following afternoon, when the guards switched and one usually left to get the others their meals.

That was when the fight began.

Aedan insisted that I stay at the Pearl while they took care of Marjolaine. Leliana and Alistair agreed, to my annoyance.

"Sierra, you know how you feel about fighting people. If you go in there, at minimum you're going to have to watch us do it, and if things go poorly you may even have to fight. I don't want your guilt on my hands."

"Aedan, you're going to be facing at least two mages in there. Alistair can't handle both, and besides he'll be busy swinging that big shield of his around. I can stay out of the melee, but at least let me neutralize one of the mages. I promise I'll leave once it's done. But I'm not staying here to worry about you all when I could help. It's bad enough when you guys are doing Chanter's board stuff or working with Sergeant Kylon."

"Sierra…"

"Forget it, Aedan."

Leliana, in desperation, tried to drag Zevran into it. "You haven't chimed in yet, what do you think, Zev? Sierra should stay here and be safe, no?"

"I don't know about that, oh most beauteous bard."

I gave him a grateful smile, but Aedan gave an indignant squawk and I knew there would be problems between them later. I tried to save Zev from himself, but he just kept talking.

"Things are only going to get more difficult from here. Between Loghain, and Howe, and the dwarves, and miles of Deep Road…it can't but help to have Sierra actually battle-ready, since you have said it's impossible to leave her behind. I think she needs to be given a chance, in a real fight. Even if she just stands back and neutralizes a mage. It's not that we can't do it without her – we are ridiculously awesome, after all – but we shouldn't."

I was impressed at his succinct summary of the situation. And of course, he was right; they wouldn't always be able to protect me. Not that I was some sort of blood-thirsty idiot; I was still nauseous when I thought about trying to actually stab a real person with my daggers, but if I was going to be stuck in this world – if I wanted to be stuck in this world – I had to learn to live in it.

Alistair had the good sense to keep his mouth shut during the discussion. I knew he'd want me to stay out of it, but he knew better than to openly say it, at least where I could hear.

"Aedan. Stop protecting me. You have to let me live, too. I'll stay in the next room. But I'm coming."

Very reluctantly he nodded, and I sighed. _Big brothers can be a total pain in the ass!_ I smiled.

"So we go meet Gorim in the morning, Marjolaine in the afternoon…maybe drop by and see how Wade is coming with our armour in between?"

Everyone agreed. Dinner finished, Wynne decided to stay and read. Leliana planned to go play some more music in the common room – apparently Sanga had even offered to pay her to do it; Aedan and Zevran made noises about going to their room, but given they were the only ones still in armour, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that they were going skulking around the city. I worried, but knew there was nothing I could do. And of everyone I'd ever met, those two could take care of themselves.

Alistair and I were left, and we decided to head to our room. I think he realised I needed a distraction from worrying about Aedan. He kissed my neck while I unlocked the door, and I tried to relax. We were still in that slightly awkward stage where we knew we wanted each other naked at every possible opportunity, but were too embarrassed to just go ahead and do it, so we stood looking at each other and avoiding eye contact for a painful few moments. Finally I cleared my throat, desire winning over fear.

"So. You said that you would do anything I asked. Did I hear that right? Anything?" I smiled a smug, wicked grin.

Alistair's pout was cute. "Yes, I did. I get the feeling I'm going to regret that, though. Am I?"

My grin widened. "No, I don't think you will." I moved close to him, and then went up on tiptoes and whispered in his ear. "What I'm going to ask of you is easy. All I want you to do is just stand still. You can do that, right? Just don't move unless I specifically ask you to. Easy."

His quiet groan sent a bolt of desire shooting through me. _This is going to be fun_. I positioned him, standing in the middle of the room, feet slightly spread. He crossed his arms, somewhat self-conscious, but I reached out and made him drop them. I spent a few moments just walking around him, in a circle, admiring my prize. As always, I was struck by how unbelievably gorgeous he was. Part of me wanted to rush it, to have him take me and push me down onto the bed, but I resisted. I was planning on making this night special. He fidgeted slightly as I stared at him.

"Tsk, tsk. Already moving? You keep doing that and I'll have to find a way to punish you." My naughty grin made him groan again. I could see the bulge in the front of his trousers and licked my lips lasciviously.

Done staring, I moved closer, reaching one hand out to trail a finger across one of his collar bones and down the centre of his chest lightly. His jaw clenched, but otherwise he held still, so I added my other hand. Systematically I stroked his chest, his shoulders, his back, his firm stomach. I kept my touch light, teasing, and watched him struggle not to thrash when I tickled somewhere sensitive. I verbalised a commentary of what I was doing, describing each tantalising body part as I touched it.

He opened his mouth to reply, but I silenced him with a finger and a look. Moving around to his front, I leaned in close and licked his neck softly. I slowly unbuttoned the shirt, pulling it back to kiss and lick the newly bared skin with each step. Finally the shirt was open completely, and I pushed it off his shoulders, letting it fall to puddle at his feet.

His upper body was cut, not like the body builders from Earth but almost. He had firm, ropey muscles running across his shoulders, down his biceps and his chest. Now bare, I ran my fingers across them again, following behind with my lips and tongue. I teased him with soft licks and kisses, ran my fingers through his sparse blond chest hair, and enjoyed the feeling of his muscles tensing where I touched. Happy with my examination of his chest, I moved behind him and did the same with his back and shoulder blades. His breath came a little more shallowly as I licked and kissed the points of his shoulder blades and traced his spine with my fingers.

Moving back in front of him, I looked up to meet his gaze as I slowly leaned forward and licked a nipple. He gasped and twitched slightly, and I grinned and did it again, then switched sides. I'd never paid much attention to the little firm bumps before, and they were apparently extremely sensitive. The bulge I could feel now against my belly enlarged and pulsed slightly with every tongue swipe. Curious, I sucked on one nipple and gently allowed my teeth to close over it; I was rewarded with a hiss and him losing control enough to raise him arms before catching himself and lowering them to his sides, fists now clenched as well. His next breath was ragged, and I repeated the motion on the other nipple with much the same effect.

Unable to wait anymore, I slipped around behind him again. Moving quietly, I grabbed the hem of my dress and pulled it over my head; my bra shortly joined it on the floor, and I moved closer to Alistair, my arms encircling his waist from behind, and I pressed my breasts against his bare back. When he groaned I knew he could feel my nipples on his skin, and I spent a few moments teasing us both by rubbing them against him. Kissing his back, I reached down and slowly unlaced the front of his trousers. My fingers bumped against his erection, and it throbbed in response. I chuckled darkly, my voice hoarse with arousal.

Laces undone, I slowly eased his trousers off his hips. I slid down his back, keeping my skin in contact with his, kissing his back as I sank. My nipples scraped down his bare skin until they came into contact with his smallclothes, my mouth still licking and kissing his lower back. Once on my knees, I sat back a bit and pushed his trousers the rest of the way down, demanding he lift each foot in turn so I could throw them into the pile with the rest of our clothes. I ran my hands down his thighs, tense with arousal, the muscles standing out. I kissed the skin just above the band of his smallclothes, and he muttered a curse under his breath. In punishment, I opened my mouth and took a small bite of the skin on his ass through the thin fabric. He gasped and jerked, so I gripped his hips and did it again on the other side. The single curse became a string of prayers and curse words all jumbled together, and I smiled smugly at my accomplishment.

I trailed my lips down the back of one thigh, then licked the sensitive skin behind his knee; he almost fell as he jumped, and I grinned and repeated it on the other side. Satisfied, I stood and moved around to his front. His eyes were dark with desire, pupils enormous, and his gaze raked across my nearly naked body. I wriggled out of my panties, struggling against my shyness to expose myself totally to him. I stepped up to his front, again teasing his skin with the hard points of my nipples, and we both moaned softly. I pulled his head down for an intense kiss, then released him to slap his eager hands away.

"Now now, not so fast! I'm not done with you."

He groaned again, which switched to a gasp as he felt my fingers slip inside the waistband of his smalls. I gently peeled them away from his throbbing erection, allowing them to slide down his legs, finally leaving him naked. I licked my lips as I stared at the firm pole of glistening flesh that was pointing at me. I slowly sank to my knees again, feeling him shudder as his length was briefly captured in the valley between my breasts. I kissed down his belly then detoured to gently bite into the skin of his hip, triggering another gasp. My hands stroked the front of his thighs, and I could feel him trembling.

I leaned back and examined his erection, his crown purple, foreskin already pulled back, slit oozing clear fluid. His heavy sac was hanging underneath, light fuzz obscuring nothing. I licked my lips again, then, bracing my hands on his thighs, leaned forward to dart my tongue out and taste the clear fluid. I contemplated the taste for a moment – salty, as expected, but not unpleasant – and then tried again. Alistair's legs were trembling more.

"Sierra…Maker, what are you doing to me?" He gasped and I grinned as I licked all the way from the base to the tip of his length, then lifted one hand to cup his sac as I did it again. The trembling increased, and I could read agonised arousal on his face as my tongue lightly stimulated him. Finally taking pity on him, I engulfed the head with my mouth, my tongue darting around the tip, one hand still massaging his sac while the other came to grip his shaft. I knew I wasn't getting much more than that in my mouth – he was large, and contrary to at least one foster mother's belief, my mouth wasn't – so I used my hand to slowly stroke the exposed length. I hollowed out my cheeks, sucking softly, loving the sounds I was pulling from him as I did. His stream of prayers and curses resumed as I sucked, licked, and stroked, and I felt his sac pull up against his body as he prepared to orgasm. I stopped, letting his cock pop out from between my lips with a sucking sound, and gently squeezed the base of his shaft until I could feel the urge had passed.

He groaned in dismay, and I smirked evilly at him. "That's for moving when you weren't supposed to."

I leaned in to start again, lips and tongue stimulating the engorged head as my hands resumed their gentle stroking. I could feel him trying to resist, but before long he was subtly thrusting his hips and groaning incoherently. Again I stopped, and he cried out in disappointment. His breath stuttered as he panted with need, his face a gorgeous mix of passion and agony, and I finally smiled.

"Okay, Alistair. Come on, then." I met his gaze as I engulfed his erection again, and this time I had no intention of stopping. I sucked and stroked, and his legs shook, and his hands came up to touch my cheek and my hair, for which I forgave him. He didn't grab me or try to control my movements, and I was grateful. I tried to express my love for him through my eyes as the rest of me tried to give him release. He whispered, warningly, and I shrugged off his weak attempt to push me away, and then he shouted my name as he came, explosively, in my willing mouth. I swallowed as fast as I could, barely able to keep up with the onslaught. Finally, it seemed he was done, and he slumped forward and braced himself on my shoulders. I gave one last suck, one last stroke, and then slowly released his now overly sensitive, rapidly deflating package.

He groaned, voice husky, as he caught his breath and I stood up. He pulled me into him, crushing me into a tight embrace. I smiled and cuddled into his chest.

"You know, I didn't say you could move yet."

"Oh, to the Void with that!" He reached down, scooped me up, and tossed me across the room onto the bed. The massive frame creaked and groaned under the sudden assault, and for a brief moment I thought I might be dumped onto the floor. Finally the frame stabilised, and Alistair climbed into the bed with me.

* * *

A/N:

Please review! I live to hear what people think. Don't make me beg!

I don't own Dragon Age. Many thanks to Melysande and Kira Tamarion for their fabulous beta skills, without whom this would not be as polished.

Reviews:

Pervinca T: Yeah, poor Ali. It's gotta be a bit nerve-wracking, wondering if your girlfriend will up and disappear. Especially in the middle of some good nooky! Ooh, now there's an idea...And thanks for the warning about the formatting. It was supposed to be in italics and indented, but somehow that just didn't work. I've no idea why.

AnnabelleHawke022812: Well, if I can make someone blush, then I know I'm doing it right. As for Anders...no spoilers ;)

Enchantm3nt: Yeah I could handle a dominant, overprotective Alistair at times...yum :) The answers will come with time, have no fear. But no spoilers! ;)

Dur'id the Druid: All three bear the name Hawke, but only one is called that by everyone in Kirkwall. Varric can figure it out :)

Flower248: Yeah, wouldn't it be nice if Nate didn't have to be a total arse at the beginning? :)

ex-ellent: All good questions. No spoilers! I'm actually not entirely clear how the entire Orzammar debacle will go. Some of it, yes, but these characters sometimes refuse to do what I tell them to. So I guess we will have to see :)

FloridaMagpie: Glad I could talk you into trying it! I am a total Alistair fangirl, and these few chapters definitely highlight that, but I'm trying not to make the entire story all about that. Mostly.

DoorbellSpider: Happy to amuse! :)

brandischoch: Yeah, not a lot of easy decisions to be made. Hopefully Sierra can make Hawke's life a little easier tho!

Cly1978: Don't we all wish for a little more AListair in our lives? Don't tell my husband I said that...

Guest: Yeah, all sorts of interesting questions about the dual body scenario. Sierra's just as curious as you!

ShellyGamerGal: I read another fic a while back that talked about herbs for men for birth control, and it made a lot of sense in Thedas. Might explain that surprising lack of bastards running around, if nothing else...On Earth, I'm quite happy to have contraception firmly in my own control, though, thank you :)

And thanks to Judy (Guest) for the review as well!


	6. Chapter 49: Untold Story

**Chapter Forty-Nine: Untold story**

He sprawled onto his back, and I curled up against his broad chest, pulling the covers up over us both. I was shivering slightly, uncertain whether it was just the chill or also the pent up arousal. Alistair rolled towards me, wrapping me in his arms.

"So that was…intense," he started.

I laughed. "That was sort of the point, yes."

"But I…we…why?"

"Tonight was about you, love. I can only tell you how overwhelmingly attractive you are so many times; I thought, this time, that I'd prove it."

He blushed. "It seemed more like it was about…you showing me who was in charge."

"Merely a side benefit, I promise." I grinned, and he chuckled.

"Well, you know that normally I have no trouble letting someone else lead. Especially someone so beautiful." He leaned in and kissed me, and I moaned. _Yep, definitely the arousal, not the cold._ He pulled away and grinned. "You don't have to go to extraordinary lengths to get me to follow you."

I smiled softly. "You know, that's a load of crap. You're a lot more competent – and confidant – than you let on. You lead when you need to, and you're good at it."

His eyes crinkled in amusement at my Earth words. "Don't tell anyone else that! Maker, they might try to get me to lead more often!" I giggled. "Speaking of, I've been incredibly selfish. And there's something I've wanted to try, if I may."

I'd have responded, but his mouth closed over mine just as his hand weaved its way into my hair, and he shifted us so he lay on top of me, his knees between mine supporting most of his weight. I lifted my legs, bending both knees, expecting him to push forward and enter me; I hadn't checked, but if prior experience was anything to go by, he would be ready again. Instead, to my surprise, he released my mouth and began kissing his way down my jaw to my throat. I moaned softly, enjoying the attention but too over-stimulated already to need it.

I wriggled my hips, brushing against his length. "Please don't tease, just-"

He interrupted me with a finger on my lips, and then went back to kissing his way down my neck. I expected him to linger at my breasts for a while – like most men I'd met, he seemed fascinated by those two little bumps – but this time after a few moments he continued further down to lick and kiss my flat stomach. My breath caught when I realised what he had planned. I tried to tell him he didn't need to do that, and he ignored me entirely. And then he pressed my thighs firmly out to the side, and I stopped talking as his mouth descended to my sex.

I'd never seen anything as sexy in my life as Alistair, prone, my legs over his shoulders, his tongue out and lapping at the moisture dripping from my folds. It felt incredible, as he explored me more intimately, and I shrieked as he added two fingers into my canal as he licked me. I could feel one of his hands holding my writhing hips down, and I clung to it for dear life. He clamped his lips around my little button and sucked hard; white light exploded behind my eyelids as I came, chanting his name.

And then he was in me, and I could taste myself on his lips as he kissed me, and I whimpered as he thrust furiously, prolonging my orgasm until I felt him spill inside me again. I clung to him and he held me as we both panted our recovery.

"Maker, at some point isn't this insatiable…need supposed to ease off?" His face was pink, I wasn't sure if from exertion or embarrassment.

"Not yet, apparently." I grinned and kissed him softly, then cuddled into his side as we rearranged ourselves and fell asleep.

The next morning, I wasn't as stiff or sore, and I virtually scampered to the bathing room. Alistair groaned and rolled over, so I let him sleep. I knew my desire for daily bathing was considered strange, and it wasn't like Alistair stank or anything, so I could keep my weird issues to myself. I noticed for the first time that the tubs had a large drain underneath that led to some sort of pipe to drain the water without having to carry it out in buckets. It gave me ideas, and I decided if I was going to be able to stay in Ferelden, I was going to invent at least rudimentary plumbing. _After the Blight._

I dressed in my armour, for the first time since coming to Denerim, minus one bracer that I hoped to pick up at Wade's at some point. Breakfast was a quick affair of scones and porridge and jerky. Aedan was acting normally, even smiling and joking as Leli and Zev teased Alistair and me for keeping people awake again. I was relieved – I hadn't been looking forward to dealing with my brother's overprotective streak. Once we finished, Alistair, Aedan, Zevran and I headed out with Prince in tow. We agreed to meet Leli and Wynne at the Gnawed Noble for lunch, so the four of us had the morning to ourselves. It took us a bit to make our way to the market, avoiding other groups of armed people as much as possible, and then we were finally there. We wore full helmets, which I found totally uncomfortable, but it would have looked weird if the boys did and I didn't, so I sucked it up.

We were there early enough that it wasn't busy yet; we got a good chance to look around at the various merchants setting up shop. Alistair led us to where he thought he'd seen Gorim, and suddenly there he was. _Red hair, thick braided beard, pissed off expression – yeah, that's him._ We waited until another customer left, and then approached the dwarf's stall. There was a variety of weaponry and armour on display, and Aedan made a show of examining some of it. When Gorim caught sight of the four of us, his face clouded over and his scowl became huge.

"How many times do I have to tell you, I'm not 'hiring' any of you sodding nug-humpers. You'd better come back with more men if you intend to challenge that." He was hefting a rather large war axe as he spoke. He was strongly favouring one leg as he stood there, but he still looked menacing with the weapon in his hand. I'd sort of forgotten he was a warrior; there was no question he knew what to do with the heavy axe.

I winced; it hadn't occurred to me what four armed and armoured people approaching him would look like under these circumstances. I stepped forward and reached up to take off my helmet; Alistair put his hand on my shoulder, and I saw Aedan tense, but it wasn't as though anyone in Denerim knew who I was. I gave them reassuring smiles and turned back.

"You misunderstand, ser. We are not mercenaries. We are not here collecting coin."

He looked skeptical, but gave me a big, false smile. "Well in that case, what are you interested in, milady? I've got dwarven arms and armour, straight from Orzammar."

"I'm sure we will take a look, but listen, we aren't here for that." I glanced around, making sure no one seemed to be watching; the three men all chose random display items to appear to be examining. I lowered my voice. "I know who you are, Gorim. And I know why you left Orzammar. These men are Grey Wardens, and I was hoping we could talk to you about the…situation, in Orzammar. Things have changed since you left. Endrin is dead, and the Assembly are dead-locked between Bhelen and Harrowmont. I was hoping you could offer us some insight into the politics we will be walking into when we go there."

I couldn't miss the flash of hope that crossed his face when I mentioned the Wardens, but it was quickly covered by skepticism and despair.

"Grey Wardens, you say? Rumour is, they're the ones who betrayed the King. I have a hard time believing they'd advertise their presence here."

I heard Aedan and Alistair shift, and quickly gestured them down.

"I know, Gorim. There's only a couple of them left, though, and they need all the help they can get. And think about it. You know more about Wardens than any Fereldan – would they actually betray a King, let the darkspawn win? Do you seriously believe that? We came to you because I told them you can be trusted."

"And how, exactly, do you know that? Maybe I'll turn you in myself for the bounty. I'm a surfacer now, I could use the coin."

"I don't believe it for a moment. You may have left Orzammar, but you haven't abandoned your honour. Sereda believed in you, and so do I, Gorim."

His face coloured at the mention of Sereda. "You know nothing, human. You-"

I cut him off. "I know she loved you. I know you tried to sway the decision to have her sent to the Deep Roads. I know you'd have gone to the Deep Roads with her, if they'd have let you. I know that they may be able to take you away from the stone, but they can't take the stone away from you all the same. And if you cared about her at all, you would want to tell us anything you could to prevent that traitor, Bhelen, from ascending the throne, and help us keep Orzammar strong with Harrowmont, unless you have a better idea? Orzammar needs you. I think she'd want you to help us."

He stared at me for a while, then switched his gaze to the armoured men with me. I don't know what he thought he'd see with them in full helmets, but he spent a few moments on each. Finally he returned to me.

"You sure you're a Grey Warden? Should have been a Deshyr. Maybe they'd make you Queen if you asked them nice enough."

I laughed, and he cracked a small, brief but genuine smile. "I'm not. They are. I guess I'm a…helper."

"I will talk to you. But not here. I have a house in this district. I'll give you directions. Come for supper; my wife will want to hear this."

I was stunned – wife? I'd never finished the game as a dwarf, so I supposed maybe if I'd played the Aeducan I'd have known that, but…wife? I thought he loved Sereda? I shook my head. _Well I'm going to assume he isn't coming with us to Orzammar, then…_I hoped he would have some information of use, regardless.

He and Aedan discussed directions and time – I had enough trouble figuring out morning or afternoon, nevermind specifics. And Aedan at least generally knew his way around Denerim. Once satisfied, he bought me a new dagger from Gorim's stock, as an excuse for us spending so much time standing there, and then we left.

It was still early, so we dropped into Wade's shop and picked up our repaired and newly made armour. Wade preened under the effusive praise as Aedan, Zev, and Alistair put on their new, fancy armour, and I had to admit it all looked quite impressive. Aedan paid for the spare pants for Leli, deciding just to let her keep them rather than have to bring them back later; I allowed the newly adjusted straps to be fitted onto my chest piece, and laced my bracer back into place.

Wade again refused pay for the work he'd done, though while he was adjusting Alistair's armour I noticed that Aedan had disappeared briefly. I guessed that the couple would find some gold tucked some place interesting later, and I grinned at Aedan when he returned. Gifting Wade Aedan's and Zevran's old armour, we took our leave to meet Wynne and Leliana at the Gnawed Noble.

As we walked across the market, I asked. "Aedan? How do you even know what time it is?"

He stopped and looked at me. "The sun? And the bells from the Chantry. How do you figure it out, back home?"

"We had watches. And phones. And clocks. They were-"

He cut me off. "Machines. Right, should have known." He grinned and I laughed.

We entered the Gnawed Noble, Aedan arranging a private room for us to eat lunch, so they could all take their helmets off without risk. The food, while good, was no better than that at the Pearl. Once we were done, we all geared up and headed out.

The plan was for Alistair and Prince to go in first, with Aedan and Zev stealthing in on his heels, followed by Leli and Wynne, and me at the back, staying out of sight as much as possible. Alistair and I agreed that he'd take the mage on the right and I'd take the left, assuming there were actually two. We waited around the corner as Aedan watched the guards, until he saw the one leave to go get food for the others, and we moved fast once he motioned us forward. He incapacitated the one guard standing outside, and then we were in.

The fighting was bloody, and as much as I was bothered by it, I made myself watch. I could probably have talked Leliana out of coming here, if I'd tried; I knew this had to be done, but I deserved to have to live with the consequences of that decision. And I couldn't afford to be caught by surprise and injured, or Aedan would try to lock me in a bubble somewhere afterwards. There were a couple of fights before we reached Marjolaine, and by the slight widening of the dark-haired woman's eyes, she hadn't missed the fresh blood dripping off of our weapons when we entered.

She had the expected conversation with Leli, though I was pleased to note Leliana seemed more confidant when she spoke than she had in game. Leli refused to accept anything Marjolaine said, and so of course there was no way out but a fight.

I felt vindicated when a couple of mages joined, and quickly neutralized the mana of the one on the left, while I felt Alistair do the same on the right. I used the mana to put shields on my friends, so Wynne didn't even need to heal. I had hoped that some of the mercenaries would surrender once Marjolaine died, and I wasn't disappointed. Aedan pulled them aside, had some quick words, then sent them on their way. I assumed he was threatening them to prevent them from joining the gangs that now seemed to be running much of the city.

The mages, on the other hand, would not submit even with no mana and held at sword-point. They feared we would turn them over to the Chantry, and claimed they'd rather die than become Tranquil, which I could understand. Truly, I was torn – as much as I abhorred how mages were treated in Thedas, a couple of mercenary, possible blood mages running free didn't sit well either. In the end, Aedan was forced to kill them, and I could see from his expression that he didn't enjoy it. Leliana took off, heading back to the Pearl, and Wynne went with her; the rest of us looted the various items of value from Marjolaine's house and followed them.

After we had all cleaned up – Alistair and I bathing separately so as to save time – Aedan, Alistair, Zev and I geared back up and headed out to Gorim's. Wynne decided to accompany us, so Leliana came as well. The house we came to was small but immaculately well-kept, with flowers in boxes by the front door, the wood obviously freshly painted. Aedan knocked, and the tiniest person I had ever seen answered the door. It was a child, a dwarven child, and the little one was close to the size of a human toddler, though by his speech he must have been at least five. Although it occurred to me I had absolutely no idea how long dwarves lived or how fast they matured, so I couldn't be sure of that. A young, pretty, vastly pregnant dwarven woman came up behind him, obviously his mother based on the family resemblance. She spoke softly, welcoming us in, but her eyes got rather large when she spotted Prince; Aedan asked him to stay outside, and he whined but settle down on the doorstep.

She introduced herself as Riana. She had no facial tattoo, I noticed, so she hadn't been casteless at any point. She had long brown hair, tied loosely into a bun, and had she been human I'd have put her age in her late twenties. We all took off our helmets, leaving them near the door, and she brought us into the kitchen, which had a long low table capable of accommodating probably ten people, and offered us drinks, which no one accepted.

The house was homey, and the smell from the oven heavenly. The little one, whose name was Revan, climbed under the table with some wooden toys, much to my amusement and his mother's dismay. I wondered where his father was – I knew it couldn't be Gorim, he'd only been on the surface for months – but thought it would probably be rude to ask.

Riana told us that Gorim was out back, in a work shed, helping her father who was the smith that made many of the items Gorim sold. She expected him back in the house soon, and so we all settled for a few minutes, making awkward small talk. From what I was able to gather, without asking too many questions, there was no way that the babe she carried was actually Gorim's; she was too close to delivery, unless dwarves had a much shorter pregnancy than humans. Wynne asked permission to check on the baby, which she granted, and Wynne declared that she was a healthy baby girl.

She seemed very respectful towards Aedan and Alistair, a bit in awe of meeting actual Grey Wardens (or maybe of their height, I giggled to myself). She was a bit confused by Zevran, Leliana, and me, but didn't ask. Revan kept it from getting awkward with adorable comments and questions, including comparing himself in size to Alistair's boot. We were all in stitches when Gorim entered, looking at us all in confusion.

He smiled fondly at the little boy, and went around to sit beside his wife. I noted he had a slight limp, and wondered what that was all about. His wife smiled brilliantly at him, and he placed his hand on her shoulder. It was a sweet gesture, and I smiled as Alistair mimicked him, and then giggled as Aedan did the same to Zevran. We repeated the introductions, and Gorim gave both Grey Wardens a long, judging once-over. He seemed to approve, nodding to himself and relaxing slightly.

Riana stood up and served dinner, some sort of roast meat with potatoes. I didn't ask what the meat was, and no one said; Alistair did give me a strange look when I ate it, so I guessed it was something I normally wouldn't have. It didn't taste bad, however, and as long as everyone kept quiet, I figured I'd be okay. We all dug in, thanking Riana heartily for the meal.

"So. You're the last Grey Wardens, I hear."

Aedan nodded, swallowing his mouthful. "We have been gathering an army to defeat the darkspawn, before the blight takes over Ferelden."

Gorim turned to me. "And so who are you, exactly?"

I gestured at Aedan. "His sister. I'm trying to help them. But I'm also…I guess the best word for it would be a seer."

"As in, can see the future?" He scoffed. "I doubt that."

"Not exactly. More like…I can see certain possible future options, based on what's happened already. It's limited, I only know about certain things, but what I know will happen unless we do something to change it."

He snorted. "If the future could have been changed, why wouldn't you have stopped the massacre at Ostagar?"

I flushed guiltily. "I would have if I could. I couldn't get there fast enough." Alistair squeezed my shoulder gently, and I leaned into him a bit. "I did what I could – I slowed down the advance so some of the vanguard could escape. If I'd been able to arrive the day before…but I couldn't, and I can't go back in time."

He still looked skeptical. I couldn't blame him; it sounded insane, even to me, and I was living it.

"Look, maybe I can help. Why don't I start by telling you what I know about you? Then you can decide if I'm crazy." I smiled, and he laughed softly.

"You've got confidence, I'll give you that. Go ahead, I'm listening."

Now that he was staring at me expectantly, I felt a little nervous. _What's the worst that could happen?_ I cleared my throat.

"You were a warrior in Orzammar, and Sereda Aeducan's second. Sereda was the middle child of Endrin, King of Orzammar. Sereda had two brothers, Trian and Bhelen. Trian was a self-important idiot who was jealous of Sereda's popularity. Bhelen always seemed like a nice younger brother. There was a Proving in Sereda's honour, and then you were supposed to accompany her into the Deep Roads the following day. She was supposed to lead you into Aeducan Thaig to reclaim the Shield of Aeducan."

Gorim started at the mention of the secret, last minute mission they had been assigned.

"Before you left, Bhelen came and told her Trian was plotting to assassinate her. I don't know if she agreed to kill him first, or whether she decided to wait and see." I paused, looking at him for a response.

His face reddened. "She would never attack her brother."

"Right. In that case, when you got to the Aeducan Thaig, you were attacked by some mercenaries who had Trian's ring. And then you found his body. Bhelen had him killed, and brought Endrin and Harrowmont in just in time to see her discover the body. The scouts with you had been bribed or blackmailed, and told the King that you and Sereda killed Trian. You were both arrested. Bhelen had also bribed and blackmailed the Deshyrs into supporting him, and he had a vote brought to exile Sereda to the Deep Roads. Her father didn't even try to stop it. You were sent to the surface, and she was sent to her death."

His expression was thoughtful, and I wanted to see what he would say. He waited while Riana cleared plates; Leliana jumped up to help, and I shot her a grateful smile.

"How do you know?"

"That's a long story. I'm not from here – Thedas, I mean. Where I'm from…what happened in Orzammar is common knowledge. As is what happened next. After you left, Bhelen poisoned Endrin, we think. The King had named lord Harrowmont as his successor before he died. Now the assembly is deadlocked between Bhelen and Harrowmont. When we travel there, both of them will try to use the Grey Wardens to support them, eventually forcing us into the Deep Roads to try to find Paragon Branka. I was hoping you could offer some…insight, maybe, or help with navigating the politics. Or a solution to the dilemma, because neither of them will make a good King." I paused, looking at Gorim curiously. "What isn't known is how you escaped, and why you ended up here." _Or at least, I don't know. Maybe the Aeducan origin would have, but…_

He looked uncomfortable, and I wondered why. After a couple of moments, Riana gave him a nudge, and when he looked at her, a nod. He had a sad smile on his face, and she looked close to tears.

He sighed. "I was exiled from Orzammar, and escorted to the surface by the guards. Some of Bhelen's 'friends' were waiting for me, and tried to kill me. I escaped, but I was injured in the process. Riana and her father were on the surface trading with Orzammar, and she found me and nursed me back to health. They concealed me in their wagon and got me away, and the next thing I remember, we were halfway here."

Wynne asked permission, before examining Gorim; she did something, and some of the tension around his eyes lessened. His eyes widened and his thanks were effusive.

"It won't be perfect – it's been that way for too long – but if you exercise it, it should improve with time."

Riana poked Gorim again, irritated now. "That's not the whole story, Gorim. Now tell the rest."

He grimaced at her, but she didn't back down. He gripped her shoulder and sighed, before turning back.

"I think I have some information that could be useful to you. Because the truth is, when I left Orzammar I was coming here anyway, to find the Grey Wardens. I believe…Sereda may be alive."

* * *

A/N:

Okay so some people seem concerned that the rest of this story is all going to be saccharine and sappy, but let me assure you, that isn't the case. There's still plenty of angst and action coming up, so don't leave me just yet!

Please, please review. It's what I live for!

As always, BioWare owns Dragon Age, as much as I wish I could claim I did. Many thanks to Kira Tamarion and Melysande for their help with beta'ing this beast. Wait, is betaing a word? Whatever.

Reviews:

ShellyGamerGal: Turn about is definitely fair play. The way I see Alistair, in my head, though, is that he'll take his time devising payback...stay tuned ;)

renegadelove: Any time I can get LOLs, especially in inappropriate places, is a victory. So I'm not even sorry ;) And I plan to keep going, for sure through Awakenings, and maybe beyond depending on how badly Inquisition messes with my head canon :) I'm not nearly as intimately familiar with DA2, and I don't see Sierra moving to Kirkwall, but there will probably be some amount of interaction with those characters...glad you approve of my smut :)

Enchantm3nt: Marjolaine, yes, and some other shenanigans. And Angst soon, I promise :)

And many thanks to: Flower248, brandischoch, and Judy (Guest) for their reviews as well!


	7. Chapter 50: Choose and Lose

Please see the original story for the next chapter, Chapter Fifty: Choose and Lose. Not so much explicit sex, so I didn't feel the need to split it. Hope everyone enjoys!


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